Silicone Valet
Performance, Panthera, Marseille, 2020

photo : Fa Fabrizio


Two characters like chimeras sit on either sides of a rock with a huge soft watch stuck in it. Behind, stand a flagpole and a machine with nine tongues. A character in a three-piece suit and holding a briefcase rushes into the set. He is the silicone-made valet. His hair is perfectly combed and his face shows no emotion.
He attempts to remove the watch from the rock, to no success. That only makes the chimeras barking and a drilling alarm to set off. Without too much concern, he thinks for a moment. He takes off the head of one of the beasts and uses it as a mask to move closer to the other and eventually break its neck. After that he takes another face of him from the briefcase and plants it as the head of the first beast. The new chimera will then monitor its master go on with his tasks.

The valet pulls out a new tool from his briefcase: it is a thumb-shaped phone with an antenna. Wearing the device onto his own thumb, he takes out the antenna and puts it to his ear, using his auricular finger as a mike.
The thumb-o-phone starts ringing but there’s no one on the other end, only a waiting tone.

Why not light up a cigar? After a few puffs, realising his selfishness, the valet offers a cigar to the chimera. And then...“SHHTAFF!” … these are fake, exploding cigars. The chimera looks like it’s been knocked out, it needs fresh air. Why not hang its head on top of the flagpole? It could see further away! In a blink the chimera is hanging, with its head down.

The valet is struck with an idea: why not use the exploding cigar to blast the rock? So he gets a new cigar and puts on a headset which is made of two latex hands with pointing fingers stuck into his ears, and he lights up the cigar...“SHHTAFF!”...Nothing happens.

His self-confidence has been smoked away. So he decides to have a shoe-licking session.
The tongues start rolling with licking sounds. A voice speaks flattering lies.
“SLURPP, Sssssslurp”, the valet gets his kicks! After a final lick he stands up, out of breath.

These emotions have sharpened his appetite. He grabs a loaf of meat, tastes it and “eew”... what a strange taste.
He breaks the loaf and finds a hammer in it: good deal! He hits the rock with the hammer. The rock only crumbles.
He hits harder, with the hammer, hands, feet, even lifts the rock and throws it against the ground.

After a few minutes the rock eventually breaks.
Victory !
Rolexcabilur is his under a festive music he shows off, holding the watch high above his head, as proof of his determination and symbol of his success.